Remembering my mantra, 'You Got This!'
I know, I know, normally Aimee Anne Photography's blog is chock-full of photos; tonight though, not so much. As I sat watching 'Titanic' (for the 1,356th time) tonight I was reflecting on my day and suddenly I had all these thoughts I need to write down (okay, type out) so I did. And now I have a page-long ramble about some of the struggle I've been feeling lately. So, here are my thoughts - real and raw:
I was rejected today, told no, thanks, we choose someone else. Like, I didn’t even get the chance to prove or ‘sell’ myself. It made me mad. Actually, to be completely honest, it hurt me more than it made me mad. It disappointed me greatly. I mean, who wants to be told no, right? But after I dried my tears (true story – yeah, I know, far too emotional) I pulled the Kevin Hart ‘should shrug’ (I just finished his book ‘I Can’t Make This Up - Life Lessons). His way of looking at things has been ‘I can’t change it, oh well’ and then moving on but also letting that instance drive him to push harder, be better. Full-disclosure: it was a partial shoulder shrug. I mean, I tried for the full-on but today I just couldn’t do it. But partial’s better than none, right?
This entrepreneur life is not for the faint of heart. But here’s the deal: I found something in life that I LOVE. Don’t get me wrong, I have my family, my friends and of course I love them (and I think even most days they love me back!) but I finally found a true outlet for my creative side something I am incredibly passionate about. And again, to reference Kevin Hart and his book, one of the eight qualities he’s deemed as a blueprint to make him one of four aces in a deck of cards, is ‘Passion-Centered Competitiveness’. He says that this is the “engine that drives all of the eight qualities. Having a passion – something you love that gives your life meaning and focus – is just the beginning. The key that turns passion into directed action is competition. It can be competition with yourself (um, always!), with others or even with history. The important thing to realize is that you’re not competing against anyone, you’re competing with them. There are four aces in every deck, and there are an infinite number of decks.” Reading that was totally relatable to me. I found that something (aside from my family and friends!!!) that gives my life meaning and focus and I want to be successful with it.
Do I think I’m perfect or better than anyone else? Heck no! Do I have a crap-ton yet to learn? Heck yes!! Will I ever get to stop learning or practicing? Heck no! Do I often think about quitting – definitely. But I have a stubbornness in me (I KNEW that would pay off one day. I may have driven my mom nuts with that attribute as a kid but it’s necessary now!) that keeps me from throwing in the towel. I didn’t start Aimee Anne Photography to give up on it, or throw in the towel on it. I started it because I want to be successful, not a failure. I want to create photographic memories for people. I want people to look at a photo I’ve taken and invoke some emotion out of them. I want to put smiles on people’s faces. And knowing, deep down, that I am capable of that is what helps me to keep pushing on. To keep reminding myself ‘You Got This!’. But I do waver between this, “Girl, you’ve got this! attitude and Holy Hannah, you suck - whhhyyyyy are you even putting yourself through this??” mentality and it can be emotionally exhausting. Again, though, my passion, my love creating these types of memories and my stubbornness keep me wanting to keep on keeping on.
Rejection, being told no – it drives me to be better, work harder and prove everyone wrong – most of all myself (see? Competitiveness with myself!). It’s not easy, it’s not always sunshine and roses and I can guarantee you I will keep going through the “Am I good enough? Wow…what were you thinking? Hang on, I can do this! I got this!” cycle but ultimately it’s worth it.